That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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