I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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