you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
