Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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