Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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