Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need a beard to bite.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
