can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he thought i was a dude.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
