i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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