:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
