ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
