so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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