So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
