I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
