She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
