good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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