Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
