My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
