so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
