I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
