Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
