What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
