so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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