There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
