Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
