Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
