Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
