Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
