are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
