this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
