Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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