Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
