does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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