So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
