Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she smelled like a LAN party
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
