OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
