I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
