Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
