It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
