that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
