Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
