Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she peed on how many people?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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