Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
