Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
