What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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