what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
