Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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