anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
