dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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