Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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