The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
