apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
