Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
as a side note pls kill me
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