How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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