No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
